Weddings
There are several phases to a Muslim wedding which will be detailed below. Most of the Muslims (Malay community in Malaysia) will generally follow these phases. The customs of each region will give nuances to these phases.
- Meeting or Courtship
- Engagement ceremony or bertunang
- Exchanging of wedding vows or nikah
- The wedding reception
Meeting or courtship
Our country is vast and there are significant differences to the way of life between the rural and urban region. Like most Muslim countries, interactions between men and women either in public or private is frowned upon. The technology does play a part in this where the mobile phones (SMS) and Internet (chatting and emailing) will be an alternative to a phsyical meeting.
Most of the courtship that happens normally will happen when the man meets a woman who he wants to spend his life with. There are also occurrences of arranged marriage but this has faded in Malaysia.
Comparing with other Muslim countries, the man has more say to the choice of his future partner.
The selection of the woman is initiated by the man, who will inform his mother of his choice. The mother will then discuss the choice with her husband, and they will gather information to determine the woman is free, her background and family to ensure a strong lineage. If she is of good repute and her parents are agreeable, a formal proposal and acceptance is done, i.e. the engagement or bertunang ceremony.
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